Toto Jokes for Kids: 24 Funny Stories to Tell Without Blushing

You'll first find out who Toto is, then the jokes sorted by setting, a few tips for telling them, and age guidelines.

Toto, the Favorite Class Dunce of Jokes

Toto is the little boy of French funny stories: an unmotivated student, champion of off-target answers, who always gets the last word against the teacher or his parents. Nobody knows who invented him, and that's what makes him a playground character.

Since 2004, the Belgian Thierry Coppée has given him a face in the comic book series Les Blagues de Toto, published by Delcourt, which has passed 5 million copies. Two films followed, in 2020 and 2023.

Toto Jokes at School

The teacher is Toto's favorite partner. All of these jokes were rewritten by us from the classic repertoire, and all of them are fine in front of a class:

• "Toto, if I have five candies in one hand and six in the other, what do I have?" "Very big hands, teacher."
• "Toto, conjugate the verb to walk." "I walk, you walk, he walks…" "Faster!" "We run, you run, they run!"
• "Toto, why are you late?" "There was a sign saying 'School, slow down.'"
• "Toto, name me an animal from Africa." "The giraffe." "Another one." "Another giraffe."
• "Toto, your essay about your dog is the same as your brother's." "That's normal, it's the same dog."
• "Toto, which is farther, the Moon or Africa?" "Africa: you can see the Moon from here."
• "Toto, what do you do when you have a right answer?" "You raise your hand." "And when you don't?" "You pretend to look for it in your backpack."
• "Toto, draw me a cow eating grass." Toto hands in a blank sheet. "Where is the grass?" "The cow ate it." "And the cow?" "She left, there was no grass left."
• "Toto, why are you writing so big?" "It's for Grandma, she doesn't have her glasses."

Toto Jokes at Home

At home, Toto mostly goes after his parents, and often their logic. Our favorite is the Napoleon one: it makes kids laugh, and parents even more.

• "Toto, when Napoleon was your age, he was top of his class." "And when he was your age, Dad, he was an emperor."
• "Mom, can you be punished for something you didn't do?" "Of course not." "Good, I didn't do my homework."
• "Dad, can you sign with your eyes closed?" "Yes." "Then close your eyes and sign my report book."
• "Mom, remember the vase you were afraid I'd break?" "Yes?" "Well, you don't have to be afraid anymore."
• "Toto, are there any cookies left?" "Yes, one." "Where?" "In my mouth."
• "Toto, why do you put your alarm clock under your pillow?" "To wake up gently."
• "Toto, go see if the sun is up." "It's too dark, I can't see anything."
• "Toto, did you wash your hands?" "Yes." "They're black." "I washed them, I didn't rinse them."
• "Dad, did you see the motorcycle?" "Yes." "And the plane?" "Yes." "And the dog on the sidewalk?" "Yes." "Then why did you step in what he left behind?"

Six Very Short Toto Jokes

For the table or the car, when you need a punchline in ten seconds:

• "Toto, why do you sleep with a ruler?" "To know how long I slept."
• "Toto, what are you doing with that watering can? It's raining!" "No problem, I put on my raincoat."
• "Toto, what is a bridge for?" "To go under the rain without getting wet."
• "Toto, how much is two plus two?" "It depends, are we buying or selling?"
• "Toto, why are you running?" "To separate two friends who are fighting." "Who?" "Me and Kevin."
• "Toto, did you sleep well?" "I don't know, I was asleep."

Telling a Toto Joke So It Works

A Toto joke comes down to two lines: the adult's question, Toto's answer. Everything hinges on the second. Four moves make it land:

• the pause: a breath before Toto's answer, giving the listener time to guess;
• the straight face: deliver the punchline without smiling, Toto is convinced he's right;
• the repeated question when the joke has three beats (the animal, then the other animal): the repetition is what sets up the laugh;
• Toto's voice a little higher than the teacher's, so everyone knows who is speaking.

The official channel of the animated series gathers jokes about home and school, all meant for children: a good way to hear the rhythm of a punchline before giving it a try.

From What Age?

A Toto joke relies on a misunderstanding or a play on words: the child has to understand that there are two meanings. As long as that double meaning escapes them, the child mostly laughs at seeing the grown-ups laugh; once they get it, the giraffe and the dog hit the mark. Does your child already laugh at wordplay? That's the best sign they're ready for Toto.

For a younger child, stick to one-line jokes, like those in the short section, or dip into our jokes for 6-year-olds, chosen for their age.

Kick Off a Joke Night This Weekend

Pick three jokes per person to tell at dinner, and vote for the best punchline. To mix things up, alternate with a few riddles with answers: whoever guesses tells the next joke.

Sources

• La Libre Belgique, article on Les Blagues de Toto 2: Classe verte, August 2, 2023
• Lambiek Comiclopedia, Thierry Coppée entry
• Thierry Coppée, Les Blagues de Toto, Delcourt, since 2004

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